Blah Blah Blah Fish Cake

dilemmasI had a great time at a friend of a friend’s birthday celebration yesterday. I also had a great time at another friend’s birthday on Saturday and still managed a bunch of laughs even though I was the only girl dressed in a mini skirt and no-belly-showing crop top ( it was deeply uncomfortable. Always ask for a memo) I am glad however that two out of the three salads I made and took to the party were eaten down to the bottom of the bowl. Today, I haven’t worked out or flossed my teeth and I don’t feel guilty. I even ate carbs for breakfast and added sugar to my coffee and that nagging bitch called my conscience is dead. Or hibernating.

As I rebel against these painstakingly created habits of clean eating and exercise, I accept that this defiance is a manifestation of the millions of troubles I imagine I am going through. We are not ranting about that today however. Today, I want to talk about the same discussion I had with my favorite cousin Anita last week ( We were on my bed and I was overloading her with a series of dilemma set questions where she had to pick one situation over the other had she no other choice. It’s a little game I play with myself too whenever I am bored; especially when stuck in traffic and my silly old phone which takes 27 minutes to download an image on whatsapp is at work doing the latter.

The Would-You-Rather Challenge


Would you rather:

1. Be fat, overweight, say 130kgs, have gas issues, overhanging stomach, stretch marks for days, cant climb stairs without breaking into a hysteric sweat, have pig like grunts when you laugh (oink) ,wobble when you walk, have to pay for two seats in a matatu,have to walk side ways in a doorway to give people room, can never lose weight but have an extremely beautiful face with amazing hair and great skin, a great set of pearly white teeth and striking eyes. I mean you’re so beautiful that you make Marylin Monroe frown in her grave.


2. Be lean, great body, nice ass, perfect tits, nice toes ( you know nice toes are cute) but be ugly as hell. I mean your face is so ugly that people wonder what your parents look like when you walk into the room. Im talking buck teeth with spaces in your dental formula, plain eyes, big sweat pores, big ass nose and the nappiest hair ever set on any african head in human existence.

Both women earn the exact amount of money and share the same social status.

Scenario B – Would you rather:

1. Be Rich as hell. You can have anything you want. Vacations, loubs, fine dining, front row seats at all the relevant events name it. But you are unhappy and depressed. And I mean clinically depressed. Your kids are abroad and never call you, you see your husband once every two weeks and he doesn’t care for you or love you, you have never and will never experience the kind of love where someone loves you as much as you love them, you suffer from form insomnia, you have not one true and loyal friend and you are always alone and deeply,deeply lonely. Forever.


2. You are part of the urban poor. You work as a cleaning lady at a council office and the most (if not only) challenging part of your job is obtaining water to clean the office spaces with when the city council has cut off water supply at the establishent. You have no hopes or chances of ever having a better income, ever. You don’t have guaranteed options such as, good health care, good housing (you live in a ghetto), or good schooling for your kids. You have mold in your home closet, a broken toilet seat, only own plastic cutlery and your neighborhood is an intense mix of congestion and insecurity. You manage to feed your family but it is a constant struggle and luxuries such as meat everyday, milk in your tea, sugar, deodorant, white tissue paper, etc are far apart and only happen a couple of times a year. On the flip side,the relationships in your life are filled with love, security and joy. You have a husband that deeply loves you and has a genuine respect for you. He never stops to show you affection and he even manages to cuddle with you after sex as he steals a few hours away from his ever demanding masonry job. On Saturday nights, exhausted after a backbreaking week, you and him talk in bed about wonderful dreams that will never come to pass. You can say that you will die having experienced true joy and love but never the comfort of money and power. Your children love and adore you.

Both women are stuck in these lives and cannot change them.

Which would you pick?

Catch you Sooner!



4 thoughts on “Blah Blah Blah Fish Cake

  1. Soila

    Hahahaha those are depressing options… I am soo stuck…in the first scenario I will painstakingly say I would be fat and beautiful than skinny and ugly…
    The second one…mmmm still debating

  2. chiniyamaji

    Option 2 both times. I’d rather be healthy with an amazing-confident-to-die-for kind of personality. Those kind of people get whatever they want out of life irrespective of what they look like. For the second part really? The rich lady sounds like she’s living in hell. Let me be happy in my shack with my family. Money can’t buy that.

    Aaaaaaand now to the most important point. I was on IG scrolling through my feed, shivjustgymit mentions you in one of his post. I scroll to your page, hey look she has a blog. Let’s see what that’s about. I read headscarf and smile. Continue on to the next article. hey, I’m actually enjoying this. I get to the bottom and apparently you only have about 4 posts in total??!! Why would you do that to your readers??!!! According to the blogging society you must submit an article every week or else…trust me, you don’t want to know. Looking forward to the next post!


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